CYBER-WHALIN

- A SHORT ESSAY ON THE FUTURE OF WHALING -

MODERN WEAPONS IMPLEMENTED INTO WHALING

• Gatling Gun mounted on the bow of the ship is connected to a sophisticated HUD display at the brigde, enabling the skipper to 'fire away' when he gets a lock-on to the whale.
• Vulcan Assault Gun, a fierce and effective weapon used in the Vietnam war by Phantoms and ground-troops, which fires some 3.000 rounds of 7.62 ammunation each minute, is able to fell a whale within 60 seconds. And sink a Greenpeace ship as well
• Mark 18 S.O.T (Special Offensice Torpedo) with a 500 kg conventional warhead, delievers a quick and effective blow to the whale, unfortunately tearing the whale to little tiny, weenie shreeds of meat.
• TOW's (anti-tank rockets) is also able to kick some if the whale hasnt hit the deck yet.

The Norwegian Ministry of Fishing, is hoping that by the year 2010, Norway shall have a fleet of some 150 OWS (Offensive Whaling Ships).

RESEARCH HISTORY

1612

Whaling starts with sailing boats

1893

Someone invents the modern harpoon.

1939

Second World war breaks out, germans uses trained whales to lay mines outside the coast of Norway and to carry german troops to Norwegian soil. Later, whales sinks many norwegians ships.

1945

World War ends. Nazi-whales either harsly punished or executed. Whaling starts up again. Nazi-whale fugitives flee to the South Atlantic.

1950

Norway (in cooperation with USA) nuked a herd of whales. This very effective weapon prove successfull in killing a large number of animals. Whale-meat trade rise.

1955

Trade in whale-meat comes almost to a halt, after research shoves that whales nuked are seriously contaminated by radiation. Sweden suffer a large scandal as it shows that large number of swedish school-children has been force-feed with whale-meat.

1963

Napalm used for the first and last time. Proves unsuccesfull.

1965

Atomic subs used in the hunting for whales.

1970

Sweden shocked by large drop-out figures from high-school. National IQ reduced.

1973

Whale attack on small fishing-wessels increase. Since 1923, 45,000 norwegians has been killed by whales. Norwegian goverment decide to increase hunting and other offensive measures against this threat.

1981

Bloodthirsty whales eat up a school-ship with 300 toddlers. Massive man-hunt for the whales responsible. Ends with shoot-out in the north-atlantic. Several norwegian destroyers sunk and the USS Nimitz (leased for the occasion) suffers damage as she is hit by twenty kamikaze whales. But we got the whales. Public festivities for the heroes, yet the day is marred by the sorrow of the parents.

1986

Norway joins the US in the SDI research. Combat satelites proves effective in targetting, firing upon and destroying whales. By the year 1991, Norway has 30 Combat Satelites in orbit. The norwegian shuttle proves indispensiable.

1992

3 whales killed in the assasination attempt at the Kings Ship. King unharmed, but special forces troops suffers casaulties. First POW. He is after gruelling three weeks released in the exchange for Snyrft-ok-Torsk, the worst whale terrorist ever.

FUTURE PROJECTS

1997

Large Scale Sonar Detectors will be mounted on several locations across the Atlantic Ocean, guarded by Marines. LSSD mission is to listen in for any whale-attack

2001

Pulsar Laser Cannons will be obligatory weapons for every fishing ships of Norway. Whales dont discriminate between innocent fishers or whalers.

2023

North-sea will be emptied of water.

IMPLICATIONS FOR NORWAY AS A NATION.

If the foreign pressure to stop the whaling increases, the norwegian pressure to continue whaling will increase as well. Its doubtfull that whaling will stop this or the next millenium. Because it brings in to much money for that.